Of Ducks and Men
by Cyberwolf
Summary: A story started by the desire to do something different. And to make the Mighty Ducks gape in sheer shock and badly-disguised horror. ^_^
1. Disappearance! Are the Kilraei's Portals...

AN: I own nothing, except the Kilraei, the Taerisans, and whatever poor tatters of a plot exist herein.

            It began with the Kilraei losing something.

            The Kilraei, by the way, were a race of extraterrestrial lifeforms who had evolved significantly past either ducks or humans or Saurians. They had made it a pledge never to interfere with the lives of other races, due to some unpleasant experiences in the past. But a little observation was not beyond them, especially with the plane-shifting technology at their disposal.

            One day, they accidentally shifted a small Taerisan into the wrong planet. Taerisans are a species, hailing from a planet on the outer fringes of the galaxy, possessing neither sentience nor powers nor any noteworthy intelligence. What they are is small, fuzzy, and unbearably cute. 

            The Kilraei knew that the Taerisan they had lost had landed on a planet called Earth – more specifically, in the city the humans called Anaheim. Well, no great matter – they merely set up portals in various locations throughout the city. Whenever a living thing wandered into the portal, the Kilraei's computers would scan it to see if it was a Taerisan – if it was Terran, then they'd wipe their memories and send them back. Easy as pie.

*** 

            Outside the Bank of Anaheim, a portly old banker vanished in a flash of light.

Received: one live subject 

_Point of origin: Earth_

_Parameters do not match; return to portal I._

            Inside the Anaheim Mall, a group of teenagers vanished.

Received: twelve live subjects 

_Point of origin: Earth_

_Parameters do not match; return to portal IV_

_Stop._

_Query?  
Third, fifth, seventh, ninth and tenth subjects have aberrations. Repair before returning._

_Acknowledged._

            The teenagers reappeared, although some of them were a little startled to see that their tattoos and body-piercings were gone.

*** 

            In the Pond, the Mighty Ducks – giant alien ducks dedicated to fighting evil and playing hockey – were wrapping up their scrimmage. 

            "Good game, you guys," Wildwing called out, lowering his hockey stick. "Grin, nice work on the checking…" 

            "Who says?" grumbled Duke under his breath, rubbing a bruise.

            "Dive, will you work on your stick-handling a bit? Same for you, Duke – maybe you guys could do the maneuvers together…Tanya, do some speed-drills. Mal, nice work on the offense." 

            Nosedive whispered something to Grin, which made the huge duck chuckle appreciatively. Mallory glared at the smirking Nosedive, sure that his comment had something to do with her.

            Wildwing rolled his eyes, aware by that look in Mallory's eyes that she'd be beating upon his little brother once again, and tried to find the words to defuse the situation.

*** 

            Later that day, Wing was wondering why he even bothered. He'd gone on a walk around the vicinity of the pond, breathing in the cool night air, leaving the chaos of Mallory chasing Nosedive 'round and 'round the base to the amused cheers of the rest of the team. Whatever Nosedive had said – and repeated, loudly, at Mallory's request, though Wildwing hadn't been around long enough to hear what it was – it set Mallory off on a rage that flushed her face as red as her hair. When Wildwing asked exasperatedly what was the matter _now_, neither Dive nor Mal left off the chase, while Duke, Grin and Tanya just looked at him for a moment and then began to roar in laughter.

            Shaking his head over the sheer nuttiness of his team, Wing rounded a corner…and disappeared.

***

Received: one live subject Point of origin: Earth 

_Parameters do not match; return to portal XIII._

_Stop._

_Query?_

Massive inconsistency with regards to genetic structure observed. Rectify this, and then return.

_Acknowledged._

*** 

            Wildwing blinked, momentarily disoriented. He didn't even know why. He'd just been rounding the corner, and then suddenly staggered, beset by dizziness. He shook his head once, regaining his equilibrium – and startled as the Mask fell off his face, clattering to the ground. 

            Bewildered, he stooped to pick it up. Why had it…

            There was a shop-window right next to him, and out of the corner of his eye he had seen something that had disturbed him greatly. 

            His reflection. 

            The Mask again clattered to the ground as his grip loosened. Wildwing stared in dumbstruck shock at the image staring back at him from the glass. A gust of wind, oddly cold for Anaheim's climate, ruffled the edge of the jacket, hanging loosely on a suddenly slightly-too-small frame, but Wildwing didn't notice.

            _What in the name of DuCaine?!_


	2. Intruder! What, It's Wildwing?

            Mallory O'Mallard sat up straighter in her chair as a light on Drake One blinked, signifying that someone authorized had entered the Pond. Wildwing must be back from his walk. She frowned a little as she examined the console. Wildwing had entered from the secret elevator in the locker-room, but he had used the old keypad to enter the passcode, instead of the DNA scanner Tanya had installed months ago. Odd, that…

            Shrugging it off, the slender duck rose and walked to meet the elevator when it came down. Sure she was on watch right now, but heck, it wasn't like the world would end in the minute it would take to greet Wildwing. 

            "Hey, cap'n," she said cheerfully as the doors whooshed open. "How was your…w…" 

            She stared at the human boy in the elevator.

            "Intruder!" she yelped, her trusty puck-launcher almost materializing in her hand, so fast did she draw. "In – mmmph!" Her yell was muffled as the boy leapt forward, hand clamping her beak shut. "Mmmmph! Mmmmph!" she sputtered incoherently, raging and knowing that her teammates – far inside the base, with walls of metal in between – would not have heard her. Damn it! Instead of trying to shoot him, she should have tried to sound the alarm. 

            "Mal! Please, stop it! It's me, Wildwing!" Mallory stopped struggling – more for the shock than obeying any command – startled at that familiar voice. She whirled away from him, breaking away from his arm around her waist easily. She stared at the human – quite clearly a Terran, Earthling, human, _homo sapiens_, whatever words you wanted to use – who was claiming to be a Puckworldian. 

            Sheer madness. And yet…those eyes…eyes in a face so alien yet so familiar…

            "W…Wildwing…?" she asked, voice a faint whisper of what it normally was. 

            Wildwing – if it was him, as Mallory was becoming more certain of – sagged in relief when it seemed that Mallory would not again leap for his throat. "Yes, it's me, Mal," he said, striving to keep his tones as normal as possible and not to let it go high in the register with the sheer hysteria he was fighting. "You're…you're going to find this hard to believe, but I…" he looked down at himself, fought back a shudder. "I was just walking, and then within one second and the next…this…happened." 

            Mallory stared, something inside her now sure sure _sure_ that it was Wildwing, but her mind still having trouble equating the human boy in front of her with her team captain.

He was tall for a human, but shorter than Wildwing was - had been, and with less broad shoulders as well. Wildwing had been at least a head taller than her – now Mallory could tip her head just slightly and meet his eyes. The clothes he was wearing hung somewhat loosely on him, engulfing him within their folds and making him appear more slender than he really was. His skin was very lightly tanned, his eyes were the same dark black-blue, the color made more recognizable with the lack of feathers around his face. And his hair was short-cut, with tufts sticking up in the front exactly like his feathers used to, and the same silver-white color his feathers had been.

It was Wildwing. And he was human. 

Mallory considered fainting. __

*** 

AN: I think this hasn't been done before – if it has, then I haven't seen it. There are fics with humans turning into ducks, so I figured, why not turn a duck into a human? ^_^  Hey, BTW, open season on this. Think of it as a fic-challenge, if you want. Anyone who wants to make continuations of this story may. Have ALL the ducks turn into humans, if you want. Or have Wildwing stress majorly about going back to normal. Or have Dragonus join Wildwing in his 'oh woe-is-me, I'm human now instead of my previous, more kick-ass, alien body' sitch.

My next part? Out sometime next week or when Episode III comes out, depending. Will probably include Phil yelling. 


End file.
